The She-Devil I call Mum

Well we went to the beach today to test out that new life jacket I was bragging about. I obviously did not fully understand what was going to happen with that. I thought it was a present but I know now it was some sort of punishment from my mum the she-devil.

Maybe I should explain from the beginning. I woke up early with the sun this morning. For some reason my mother did not want to join me, so I decided some reverse sneezing would get her attention (here's an example from youtube - you can see how this is an effective attention getter). She didn't appreciate this much since it was 5:30 AM but I think it may have helped me to later throw up a small rock I swallowed yesterday (I swallowed it because the only other option was to spit it out like I was told to do). After cleaning up after me, Mum tried to go back to bed but at this point I decided to suck up my pride and cry like a baby until she got out of bed. By 8:30 I had succeeded. Surprisingly, she was not her cheerful self. So after refusing to go out to pee, refusing to eat my breakfast, and refusing to play with my toys we got ready to go out. Mum took me to a grassy spot in front of the hose to pee and then we went for our drive. We stopped first at Mr. Pet, I thought maybe I would be getting a new present but no.....she had to buy plants for the stupid fish bowl. I let her know my dismay about this by peeing on the floor in the store..... this MAY have been where I mis-judged my power in this relationship. It was all down hill from here. This is when we went to the beach and she put that life jacket on me.

I don't understand why it's called a life jacket.... it scared the life out of me. She tricked me to walk into the water and then held me by the handle on my back so my feet couldn't touch the ground. I don't know how this swimming thing is done, but if it means being in the water and not being able to touch the ground... I want no part of it. That's just crazy talk. I realised while I was thrashing for my life that this must have been my punishment for my earlier behaviour. I was really good after this.... I believe the phrase is "Don't poke the bear".

When we got home I had a good nap, and after supper we went for a long walk. I continued to be on my best behaviour, I couldn't risk another swimming lesson. I must still have been being punished though....we walked in our own neighbourhood... not the park.

We have gone to the park 3 times this week. We saw some baby ducks and a swan that seems to be lost. I'll be glad when these ducks aren't so darn small. People seems to think they are cute and it's starting to take away some of my attention. I'll have none of that! It's bad enough that we now have two fish bowls that seem to get way to much attention.

In other news, since my last post I got a new leash....my own leash ... not a hand me down from dog's long gone, and Mum ordered me a custom made collar that is coming all the way from California (just like me!). I suppose considering these things maybe I should behave a little better tomorrow.....hahaha...oh I kill myself.

Time to go ....I think Mum might have some food.... I better go sit in front of her and cry or she'll think I don't love her anymore....bye for now!